Quotes - philosophical

> Beware of all enterprises that require a new set of clothes.
Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

> Reasonable people adapt themselves to the world. Unreasonable people attempt to adapt the world to themselves. All progress, therefore, depends on unreasonable people.
George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

> Although they posses enough, and more than enough, still they yearn for more.
Ovid (English Poet, 43 BC - 17 AD)

> I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on the frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words. When I was a boy, we were taught to be discrete and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly wise and impatient of restraint.
Hesiod 800 - 720 bc

> The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority, they show disrespect to their elders.... They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and are tyrants over their teachers.
(allegedly) Socrates ca. 390 BC

> Do not hire a man who does your work for money, but him who does it for love of it.
Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

> If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.
Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

> Inquiry is fatal to certainty.
Will Durant 1885 - 1981 (Historian)

> If you want to be loved, be lovable.
Ovid (English Poet, 43 BC - 17 AD)

> Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little.
Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797)

> All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.
Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797)

> Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.
Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

> If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

> Just because you are paranoid does not mean they aren't out to get you.

> Don't let schooling interfere with your education.
Mark Twain

> It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
Mark Twain

> If you can, help others. If you can't, at least don't hurt others.
Dalai Lama

> Better to light a single candle than to curse the darkness.
Chinese Proverb

> Men never grow up - their toys just get bigger.

> Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.
Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

Quotes - political

> In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist.
Dwight D. Eisenhower (1890 - 1969)

> Treason doth never prosper: what's the reason? Why if it prosper, none dare call it treason.
Ovid (English Poet, 43 BC - 17 AD)

> From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs.
Karl Marx (1818 - 1883)

> I think it would be a good idea
Mahatma Gandhi (when asked what he thought of Western civilization)

> Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.
John F. Kennedy (1917 - 1963)

> Fascists divide in two categories: the fascists and the anti-fascists.
Ennio Flaiano

> If I help someone who is poor I'm called a saint - if I ask why they are poor I'm called a communist.

[around the time of Iraq War (2003)]
> The world is watching America, and America is watching TV.

> Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few.
Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)

> The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)

Quotes - Science/Technology

> The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not "Eureka!" but "That's funny..."
Isaac Asimov

> If I have seen further than others, it is by standing upon the shoulders of giants.
Sir Isaac Newton

> Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the former.
Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

> A crank is a piece of simple technology that creates revolutions.
Fritz Schumacher (1911 - 1977) (the author of Small is Beautiful) who rather liked being called a crank.

> Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from that of their social environment.
Albert Einstein

> The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Albert Einstein

> The dinosaurs became extinct because they didn't have a space program.
Larry Niven

Quotes - misc

> Fog in Channel; Continent Cut Off.
Old British newspaper headline, allegedly :-)

> I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)

> Religion is the opium of the masses.
Karl Marx (1818 - 1883)
(me: but he never saw TV!)

> In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.
Dr. Laurence J. Peter (1919-1990)

> The only risk of failure is promotion.
Scott Adams

> When a dog bites a man that is not news, but when a man bites a dog that is news.
Charles A. Dana (US newspaper editor)

> OATS. A grain, which in England is generally given to horses, but in Scotland supports the people.
Entry in Samuel Johnson's dictionary published 1755

> [to Lady Astor] I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)

(at another meeting)
> Lady Astor: If you were my husband Winston, I should poison your soup.
> Winston Churchill: And if you were my wife, I'd drink it.

> Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Benjamin Franklin

Quotes - Cycle

> Cycle tracks will abound in Utopia.
H. G. Wells (1866 - 1946)

> Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race.
H. G. Wells (1866 - 1946)

> A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
Gloria Steinem (1934 -)

Quotes - Computer

> Backups are for wimps. Real men upload their data to an FTP site and have everyone else mirror it.
Linus Torvalds

> "regression testing"? What's that? If it compiles, it is good, if it boots up it is perfect.
Linus Torvalds (1998)

> Wait for Hurd if you want something real.
Linus Torvalds in 1991 commenting on Linux

> There is a world market for "maybe only five computers."
Thomas Watson (chairman of IBM) in 1943

> With Open/Free software everything is configurable - it is just a question of how easy it is !

> Those who do not understand UNIX are doomed to reinvent it, poorly.
Henry Spencer, Usenet signature, November 1987

> If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a UNIX user to show you how it's done.
Scott Adams

> Everything that can be invented has already been invented.
Director of the US patent Office in 1899 assuring President McKinley.

> Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
Pablo Picasso (1881 - 1973)

> 640K ought to be enough for anybody.
Bill Gates in 1981

> bergeron76:
> >  It seems like it's been ages since I heard of any advances in
> >  "Virtual Reality" technology. Was Virtual Reality just hype?
> Ah, the irony. I love my job.
> - The Architect
Dante Shamest (Slashdot user 813622)

> The first 90 percent of the work is easy, the second 90 percent wears you down, and the last 90 percent - the attention to detail - makes a good product.
Old saying in computer science quoted by jone_stone (Slashdot user 124040).

Email signatures

These are often either sayings (well known or otherwise) or else a comment by the email writer. I make no attempt to differentiate here !!

(If you recognise your sig and would like a credit, or a deletion, then please email me !)

The message said "Upgrade to Windows 95 or better". So I installed SuSE 9.1

There are 10 kinds of people in the world... those that understand binary, and those who don't.

I think, therefore I am an Atheist.

Capitalization is the difference between "Helping your uncle jack off a horse" and "Helping your uncle Jack off a horse"

The Internet: proof that a million monkeys with keyboards will not produce the complete works of Shakespeare.

Microsoft Windows: Closed Software built on the back of Open Hardware interfaces.

Icons are for children and your Granny.

Bicycle riders of the world, unite! If you switch to penny-farthings, you have nothing to lose but your chains.

Top posters.
What is the most annoying thing on Usenet ?

The moon is covered with the results of astronomical odds.

Gates' Law: Every 18 months, the speed of software halves.


(? true story) (Famous Last Words.) WW1 Commander sticks his head up above the trenches to see what is happening. Foot soldier shouts up "Do not put your head up Sir, there are snipers out there". The reply came back from the Commander "Do not be silly, they are much too far aw...".

The Navajo Perspective on going to the Moon

posted by Linux_ho on 07/11/03 at Slashdot

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo Project, it took the astronauts to a Navajo reservation in Arizona for training. One day, a Navajo elder and his son came across the space crew walking among the rocks.

The elder, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question. His son translated for the NASA people: "What are these guys in the big suits doing?"

One of the astronauts said that they were practising for a trip to the moon. When his son relayed this comment the Navajo elder got all excited and asked if it would be possible to give to the astronauts a message to deliver to the moon.

Recognising a promotional opportunity when he saw one, a NASA official accompanying the astronauts said, "Why certainly!" and told an underling to get a tape recorder. The Navajo elder's comments into the microphone were brief. The NASA official asked the son if he would translate what his father had said. The son listened to the recording and laughed uproariously. But he refused to translate.

So the NASA people took the tape to a nearby Navajo village and played it for other members of the tribe. They too laughed long and loudly but also refused to translate the elder's message to the moon. Finally, an official government translator was summoned. After he finally stopped laughing the translator relayed the message: "Watch out for these assholes. They have come to steal your land."

Song Quotes

> M6 southbound roadside cafe on a wild wet and windy night...
Family (Sullivan/Heaton) 1987
> Clever monkeys with technology
> Barely out of the caves and the trees
Vanity (Sullivan) 1990
> So all I wanted in the end
> Was world domination and a whole lot of money to spend
Great Expectations (Sullivan/Heaton) 1982
> Heaven knows I'm miserable now
(title) (Morrissey) 1984
> They were born
> And then they lived
> And then they died
Cemetery Gates (Morrissey) 1984
> And if a double-decker bus
> crashes into us
> To die by your side
> ...
> The pleasure the privilege is mine.
There is a light that never goes out (Morrissey) 1986
> Just 'cause he's better lookin' than me
> just 'cause he's cool and trendy.
Jilted John


(seen during Gulf War 1) Saddam's three closest aides bring him birthday presents: one gives a pair of boots, another black shorts, and the third a white shirt with number 8 on the back and "Holsten Pils" written on the front. Saddam explodes with rage "No you idiots! I said the Gaza Strip".
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realises he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" The man below says, "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field. " "You must be an engineer", says the balloonist. "I am", replies the man. "How did you know?" "Well", says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's of no use to anyone."

The man below says, "You must be in management." "I am", replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?" "Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."

Two fish in a tank, one says to the other "How do you drive this thing?"

** Windows has detected a mouse movement.
** Please restart Windows so changes can take effect.

Operating Systems Airlines


Most Used Phrases of Software Engineers

TO COME... (It worked earlier etc.)

Bible Quotes - selective ;-)

Six days shall work be done, but on the seventh day there shall be to you an holy day, a sabbath of rest to the LORD: whosoever doeth work therein shall be put to death. (Exodus, 35:2)

And the congregation of those who believe were of one heart and soul; and not one of them claimed that anything belonging to him was his own, but all things were common property to them. (Acts 4:32)

<< Back to Front page | Email me